Former Nigerian Head of State, Yakubu Gowon, has shared why getting married was not easy for him during his time in power.
PrimeTimes Nigeria reports that in his autobiography titled, ‘My Life of Duty and Allegiance’, launched in Abuja, Gowon explained that his position as Nigeria’s leader made it difficult for him to know who truly cared for him and who was only attracted to power.
Gowon became Nigeria’s Head of State in July 1966 at the age of 31 while still unmarried. According to him, he remained single for years to focus fully on his military career and personal growth.
He explained that whenever he tried to get serious with any woman at that stage of his life, the relationships usually faced different problems. Some of the women, he said, made things difficult, while others were simply not suitable for the future he wanted.
The former military ruler said remaining unmarried also gave him opportunities that many of his married colleagues could not enjoy.
Since he had no family responsibilities at the time, he was often selected for military courses and assignments in different parts of the world because he was always ready to travel at short notice.
Gowon recalled that after the political crisis and civil war began in 1966, he started thinking deeply about life and death. Having escaped dangerous situations, including surviving an attack in Congo and the military coup in Nigeria, he became more conscious that life was uncertain. This pushed him to consider building a family that would continue his name if anything happened to him.
Despite his desire to settle down, he said marriage became more complicated because of the demands of his office and the attention he received from women during official trips within and outside Nigeria.
According to him, many people admired him because he was young and occupied a powerful position. This made it difficult for him to know which relationships were genuine.
Gowon also revealed that while the civil war was ongoing, several women visited him at Dodan Barracks in Lagos, where the seat of government was located at the time. Some came under the excuse of friendship but later advised him to get married.
He recalled a particular incident involving the wife of a friend who introduced her younger sister to him in an attempt to arrange a relationship between them. Gowon said he was not attracted to the lady, and nothing developed from the meeting.
Years later, after he married his wife, Victoria, he said the woman sent him an angry letter expressing disappointment over his choice of partner.
Speaking about how he met his wife, Victoria Gowon, the former Head of State said their first meeting happened in 1964 when she was still a secondary school student.
At the time, he said Victoria showed little interest in him and appeared distant during their first encounter. He later met her again when she was undergoing nursing training at the University College Hospital in Ibadan.
Gowon explained that he initially had no romantic feelings for her because he believed he was interested in another woman. However, things later changed after another meeting arranged through his Aide-de-Camp, who was courting Victoria’s elder sister.
During that visit, he said he began to notice her maturity, calm nature and the way she expressed herself. According to him, her personality left a strong impression on him and gradually made him think seriously about marriage.
The former Nigerian leader eventually married Victoria on April 19, 1969, during the Nigerian Civil War.
Gowon also said some people criticised the timing of the wedding because the country was facing serious challenges at the time. He added that there were also false claims from some quarters accusing Victoria of taking him away from other women.
However, he maintained that those stories were untrue and praised his wife for her loyalty and support throughout their decades together.
He wrote, “I remained a bachelor because I was focused on my growing career. The girls were either making yanga or putting up various obstacles. Some of those early relationships did not have any place in my life’s span. My bags were always packed, and I was ready to go whenever the order came. I became more conscious of my mortality. I started to consider starting a family that would perpetuate my name.
“Marriage proved difficult for a host of reasons. It was difficult to decipher who was genuine and who was only interested in the position I occupied. I never ran short of friends and acquaintances who visited Dodan Barracks. A friend’s wife brought her younger sister to greet me. I had no attraction whatsoever to her sister. Every word of her note dripped with poison. Victoria practically looked right through me as though I was transparent.
“Eventually, she reluctantly and casually returned my greeting. There was no emotional interest in her. I was wrong because the person I was interested in turned out to be the one fending me off. There was something about her that I could not immediately place my finger on. Time would not wait for me despite the responsibilities of office. Some people faulted the timing of our marriage. I can confirm and affirm Victoria’s love and faithfulness over 57 years together.”