A 54-year-old American woman who claimed to be married to a 36-year-old Nigerian man has lamented that she sends him money every month to keep their long-distance relationship afloat.
The woman made the revelation during an episode of the TonightsConversation podcast, where she sought advice about her relationship.
She asked the panel:
“At what point does fighting for a relationship become settling for less than what you deserve?”
Explaining her situation, she said she was in a long-distance marriage because her husband lives in Nigeria.
“I’m married. I’m in a long-distance relationship. He’s in Nigeria,” she said.
One of the show’s hosts then asked whether she had sent her husband any money since they got married. She replied that she sends him money every month.
“I send money every month,” she said.
Her response prompted one of the panelists to exclaim that she had been scammed.
Another panelist argued that her actions were driven by desperation rather than love.
“Earlier, my brother said love makes you do some crazy things,” the panelist said.
“Love didn’t make you do that. Desperation did. The lack of love made you do that.”
The same panelist further claimed that the woman had fallen victim to one of the oldest romance scams.
“You didn’t feel like you were worthy of having a real commitment, so you settled for one of the oldest scams in the book.
“The Nigerian scammer, married for papers, coming after your wallet,” she said.
Another panelist approached the issue from a Christian perspective.
She asked the woman whether she was a believer, and the woman responded in the affirmative while citing a Bible verse.
“Yes, I am. As a matter of fact, ‘She does him good and not evil all the days of her life,’ and that’s what’s making me stay,” she said.
The woman added that she remained in the relationship because she believed her husband would become “nothing” if she left him.
“Because I know if I leave, he’s going to become nothing,” she said.
Responding, the panelist said many people try to shoulder burdens that are not theirs, only to become disappointed when things go wrong.
“This is what I mean when I say people try to play the role of God. The burden is not yours to carry.
“This is the valley that a lot of people place themselves in, and then they get mad at God.
“They put themselves in a valley when God had a completely different direction for them, but they chose to go through the valley,” she said.
The panelist then used an illustration to encourage the woman to turn to Christ.
Pointing to a member of the audience, she asked:
“That man in the white cap, do you have your phone with you? Can you raise your flashlight for a second?”
After the phone light was switched on, she continued:
“You see that light?”
The woman replied, “Yes.”
“How did you know there was a light?”
“Because we can see it,” the woman answered.
“You saw the light, and you fixed your eyes on it. If you were in a valley right now, would you move toward the light?”
“Yes.”
“Because it’s there, right?”
“Yes.”
The panelist concluded by saying:
“Jesus is the way and the light. The only way you’re going to get out of this situation is not through this panel, but through Jesus Christ, the Light.
“It isn’t going to be by your own strength. You’ve done a whole lot of things in your own strength, and they’ve led you toward destruction.
“You’ll have nothing but your children while that man is having a field day with your money and taking your resources.
“If God is a God of abundance, why would you allow a thief to come into your life?”