Marriage counsellor and cleric, Bisi Adewale, has clarified his recent comments on the role of men in marriage, stressing that husbands are biblically required to provide for their families while also offering spiritual leadership. Adewale made the clarification in a statement posted on Facebook on Wednesday following reactions to a……
Marriage counsellor and cleric, Bisi Adewale, has clarified his recent comments on the role of men in marriage, stressing that husbands are biblically required to provide for their families while also offering spiritual leadership.
Adewale made the clarification in a statement posted on Facebook on Wednesday following reactions to a video clip from a message he delivered at a men’s gathering.
According to him, his remarks that a man’s first responsibility in marriage is spiritual leadership were widely misunderstood.
“Recently, a short video clip from a message I preached at a men’s meeting generated reactions on social media. In that message, I stated that the first role of a man in marriage is spiritual leadership, not provision.
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“Unfortunately, some people interpreted that statement to mean that I was teaching that men should not provide for their families. That was never my message, my intention, or my belief,” he said.
The cleric maintained that the Bible clearly places a responsibility on husbands to cater for their households, noting that any man who neglects that duty acts contrary to scriptural teachings.
“Let me clarify what I meant. A Man Must Be Both a Provider and a Leader. The Bible clearly teaches that a husband has a responsibility to provide for his family.
“But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
— 1 Timothy 5:8 (KJV)
“This scripture leaves no room for argument. A man who deliberately refuses to provide for his family is acting contrary to biblical principles.
“Therefore, I strongly believe that a husband should work hard, be responsible, provide food, shelter, education, security, and meet the needs of his family according to his ability.”
Adewale described provision as a non-negotiable aspect of marriage, declaring that “Provision is important. Provision is biblical. Provision is necessary.”
However, he argued that spiritual leadership precedes provision in terms of divine responsibility.
“However, provision alone is not enough. Why I Said Spiritual Leadership Comes First. When I said spiritual leadership comes first, I was referring to divine order and responsibility, not importance over provision.
“The first assignment God gave man was not to make money. It was to walk with God, obey God, represent God, and lead according to God’s instructions.
“Before there was a family to provide for, there was a God to follow. Before there was a wife to care for, there was a divine instruction to obey. Adam Was Given Spiritual Responsibility First.”
He further explained that Adam received God’s instructions before Eve was created and was held accountable when sin entered the family, demonstrating the principle of spiritual responsibility.
According to him, biblical headship is rooted in leadership, accountability and service rather than domination.
Adewale said husbands are expected to guide their families spiritually, teach biblical values and model godly living.
Drawing from the example of Joshua, he noted:
“Joshua Demonstrated Spiritual Leadership. One of the greatest statements of spiritual leadership in Scripture came from Joshua.
“And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve… but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”
— Joshua 24:15 (KJV)
“Joshua did not merely provide for his household. He gave spiritual direction to his household. He established the spiritual culture of his family.”
He also cited Abraham as an example of a man chosen because of his commitment to leading his family in God’s ways.
“Abraham Was Chosen Because He Would Lead His Family Spiritually. God Himself explained why He chose Abraham.
“For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD…”
— Genesis 18:19 (KJV)
“Notice that God did not mention Abraham’s wealth first. God emphasised his ability to lead his family in God’s ways. Spiritual leadership was one of Abraham’s greatest qualifications. Fathers Are Commanded To Raise Godly Children.”
Adewale warned that financial success alone does not guarantee effective leadership within the home.
“The Danger Of Being Only A Provider. A man can provide money and still fail in leadership. He can buy food but fail to teach values.
“He can pay school fees but fail to build character. He can leave an inheritance but fail to leave a godly legacy. Many families have financial success but spiritual emptiness.
“Money can make life comfortable, but only godly leadership can build a lasting legacy.
“The Ideal Husband Is Both Provider And Leader. The Bible never presents provision and leadership as opposites. The godly husband is expected to do both.”
He concluded that healthy and enduring marriages are built when men successfully balance the responsibilities of provision and spiritual leadership.
“The strongest marriages are built when a man combines responsible provision with godly spiritual leadership. That is the message I preached. That is the message I still believe. And that is the biblical model for every husband.”