Weekly Love Story Column by Olayinka Owolabi-Ajayi
These days, when people talk about marriage readiness, the conversation often stays on the surface. Some say once you are old enough, you are ready. Some think if you are beautiful, financially stable, or deeply in love, then marriage should naturally work. But real life keeps teaching us something different.
Marriage is deeper than age. It is deeper than attraction. It is deeper than having butterflies in your stomach or having a good job. Many people are ready for a wedding day, but not necessarily ready for the life that comes after it.
So, what really makes a person ready for marriage?
One of the clearest signs that a person is truly ready for marriage is emotional maturity. This is the ability to manage emotions without letting every disagreement become drama. It is the ability to listen, to process hurt properly, and to talk through issues without always shouting, shutting down, or walking away.
In marriage, there will be misunderstandings. There will be moments of stress. There will be times when your spouse will not do things the way you expected. If you do not know how to handle your emotions, marriage will expose it very quickly. Love is sweet, yes. But maturity is what keeps the sweetness from turning into daily bitterness.
Marriage is not just a romantic decision. It is a commitment decision. And commitment is tested most when feelings are not loud.
Anybody can feel in love during good moments. But marriage asks a deeper question: can you stay responsible, intentional, and faithful when life is ordinary, stressful, or uncomfortable?
This is where many people need to be honest with themselves. Do you only like the idea of being married, or do you understand what it means to stay committed when marriage requires patience, discipline, and effort?
A person who is ready for marriage should know themselves to some extent. Not perfectly, but honestly. You should know your habits, your weaknesses, your triggers, your communication style, and the areas where you still need growth.
Why does this matter? Because marriage has a way of bringing out what has been hiding in you. If you are not self-aware, you may keep blaming your spouse for things that are actually your own unresolved issues.
Not every problem in marriage starts with “I married the wrong person.” Sometimes the issue is, “I have not dealt with myself.”
Self-awareness makes room for growth. It helps a person apologise sincerely, reflect honestly, and make needed changes instead of living in constant blame.
Marriage cannot thrive where selfishness is in charge. If everything must go your way, if your comfort is always the priority, if sacrifice annoys you, then marriage may feel harder than you imagined and you aren’t perhaps ready for marriage.
A healthy marriage requires two people who are willing to consider each other. It requires learning that life is no longer only about what suits you.
This does not mean you should lose your identity or accept unhealthy behaviour. Not at all. It simply means you understand that marriage involves mutual care, shared responsibility, and practical love.
Marriage should not be used as an escape route from loneliness, confusion, or lack of direction. A spouse is not meant to come and give your life meaning for you. That is too heavy a burden to place on another human being. Common!
A person who is truly ready for marriage is already learning responsibility. They are taking ownership of their life, their choices, their growth, and their future. They may not have everything figured out, but they are not waiting for marriage to turn them into a serious person.
Conclusion
Readiness for marriage is not proved by age, beauty, money, or even strong feelings. Those things may make marriage attractive, but they do not make it stable. What truly prepares a person for marriage is much deeper.
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